"Is that a fat joke?"

I say that almost daily when someone mentions something to me about food.  I'm mostly joking when I say it.  But in all reality I'm trying to get a jump on them jamming on me for being fat.  It's an almost unconscious self-defense mechanism.  Tons (hahahahahahaha...pun FTW) of fat people do it.  We're natural comedians.  Nobody is as good at beating themselves up as a self conscious person.

Fat=self conscious.  

It's not exclusive to fat people but being fat is what I know.  I'm sure people with true disabilities (not self imposed like us fat asses) are the same way.

I don't know what I'll say when I actually lose weight but I'll probably still say it.  From what I understand about true weight loss (weight loss and maintaining a goal weight) is that people still see themselves as fat.  How can we not?  We've been fat for decades.  Now in just 18 months we're at a 'healthy' weight.  Our minds are blown.  We don't (I won't) know how to react to the fact that we can buy clothes in a  normal store like Wal-Mart (ok not a great example of normal) or Kohl's.

I'm really not trying to make you feel bad for me or any other fat person.  When I see people fatter than me I make fun of them.  Especially the ones on scooters with handicap placards who drive around the parking lot 800 times waiting for a space to free up.

There are exceptions I'm sure but you're not fat because of a physical issue.  I've seen people with no legs who are in the best shape of their lives.  I've seen people in wheelchairs who make me ashamed to be so fat. Being fat is like being a practicing alcoholic.  If you know me you'll know I'm speaking from experience here.  Excuses roll off a fat person's tongue easier than an East Washington Street hooker.  The problem is, though there is an Overeaters' Anonymous program. You can (and I have with the exception of a few NA beers) live without booze.

You cannot live without food.  

That's the biggest excuse I have ever heard / used.

I guess other than documenting my journey through this gauntlet of weight loss I want to shed some light on why I'm fat and why I think most other people who are fat are well...fat.

I am not an expert at anything other than losing weight.  You should not read this to be the gospel according to fat.  I hope its entertaining enough to keep you around and informative enough to save some other fatty's life.


tl;dr
I love making fun of myself
Don't cry for me Argentina
I hope you like this
I'm not a doctor.  I play one on the Interwebs.