Back to Work

I haven't updated in awhile since it was a busy weekend and I started back to work on Monday.  I'm down to 314 lbs which is an astonishing 44 lbs lost so far.  I'll do a double update this Sunday with my other stats.

Going back to work has been great.  My boss (he's going to think I'm sucking up now...) has been great but is stuck in NYC in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy so I haven't seen him in person yet.  Loads of folks came up on Monday morning to welcome me back and ask the usual questions about the surgery.  It is a different but pleasant experience to be the center of attention.

I'm actually starting to do more around the house now.  I feel good, I have loads of energy and miss picking up Ella.  Those are a few of the 642 reasons why I had this surgery.

I only have 2 pair of pants that fit comfortably now.  This is not a new thing for me, but the twist is all of the others are like tents on me.  I plan on bringing a pair into work and hanging it on my wall.  All of my shirts fit.  That's never happened.  Ever.

I found some 2X shirts in the bottom drawer of my dresser so I'll have some when the 3X get to big.  Those sort of things motivate me more than anything.  I used to spend time deciding whether or not to wear what I wore yesterday or the day before.  Now I have to ask my wife if what I'm wearing matches.

I slacked off on my exercise last week and felt guilty about that.  I can tell the difference when I don't exercise as much because my weight loss isn't as great as it is when I do.  However being back to work is helping with that.  I joined the YMCA while I was off so I can go on my lunch hour to work out.  Plus our warehouse is huge so if the weather is bad I can do a lap or 2 around that while 1st or 2nd shift are on break.  When the weather is nice I'll walk at lunch.

I noticed today that I'm not as hesitant to try to remote into a user's machine or call them to work out a problem even if they are in the warehouse.  I just get up and go do it.  Then I walk the long way back to my desk.  I even park as far away from the employee entrance as I feel like when I come to work in the morning.

There have been some down times recently.  I found that large gatherings where food is concerned is an issue if I don't have something to do.  Even if that something to do has to do with cooking.  That's something I'm going to have to work on.

I went to a going away party for a guy I worked with at my last job last night and was worried about that but I had a blast.  I got to see one of my Brothers and lots of folks I used to work with at my last job.  I'm glad I got invited and I'm glad I went.

All in all things are going well.  I don't miss too much but what I do miss I try to remember what its like when I eat it and how I feel afterwards.  This is the easy part.  Almost 0 effort still guarantees that I'll lose weight.  After a year though I'll have to have a new routine in place so I won't go back to the old me.  So far I'm loving the new me.  I hope my wife and kids do.  I'm doing this for them too.

Back to life...

So I'm going back to work on Monday.  It figures that I end up with a cold the 2 nicest days left of 2012 where I'm not working but such is life.

I thought I'd enjoy my time off but the only time I enjoyed off was with my wife and the times that family came to see me.  Otherwise I've been stir crazy.  I finally got my car back today for good after almost a week of being in the body shop getting hail damage repaired.

Folks at work, especially my awesome boss, have been very supportive.  They've left me alone (I still think places will fall apart without me) but sent me emails encouraging me and checking up on me.  I don't think I'll get much done (not that I do anyway...) on Monday after catching up with folks but I'm definitely looking forward to it.

I just got the bill from the hospital in regards to what they are submitting to insurance.  That's worrying me a little but not too much.  It is what it is.

Overall I feel the same but totally different.  Take a sec...that one's deep.

I feel 'normal'.  Food is a chore now not an all obsessing entity.  I haven't been at this weight I am today in 10 years.  It's such a small part of the total weight I need to lose but it's significant and it's life changing in that I know it's possible. 

Random Thoughts

A couple of observations I have based on my limited experience of this post-op bariatric life.

1.  Don't do any chew-able supplements if you can avoid it.  Or at least try the samples they give you before trying them.  Chew-ables are fine if you have to take them every so often but you have to take at least 8 different supplements a day and if even half of those are nasty tasting chalky chew-ables you're just not going to make it.  They make capsules for bariatric patients and I seem to be doing fine with those.

2.  Weigh yourself everyday and be prepared to say holy shit one day and WTF the next day.  I'm down 40 lbs in 20 days.  That averages to 2 lbs a day.  There have been days when I know I lost 5-10 lbs and there have been some recent days where I haven't lost anything or gone up slightly.

2a. Weigh yourself at the same time of day with the same clothes (or in your birthday suit like I do)

3.  Have a support system.  My family and friends have been more than awesome but I found that during our pre-op classes some folks just weren't supported and I could tell they were overwhelmed.

4.  Don't buy new clothes right away.  It's amazing and awesome how many people have offered me their old clothes.

5.  Hold onto the biggest pair of pants and shirt you own but get rid of the rest.  You need no excuse to get fatter again by hanging onto clothes that are too big to wear.

6.  Don't compare yourself to others who are going through the same procedure or are doing it the 'normal' way.  In other words eating less and exercising.  Don't think you're doing it the easy way and don't let them make you think that.

7.  Try not to get bored.  I'm 20 days into this lifelong change and I have more energy than I've ever had before.  I'm told it will only get better and I'm excited about that.  You don't have to start planning to climb Everest or run with the bulls in Pamplona but you do need a plan to replace your bored eating with something.  Since I'm under the weather with some kind of sinus shit I've been reading.  Just getting out of the house will make you feel better.

8.  Look at your bank account.  All your familiar food haunts are gone aren't they?  I haven't spent a dime on unnecessary food in 3 weeks.  I used to spend an average of $15 a day on food prior to my surgery.  That's $315 I've saved in 3 weeks.  That's a payment on our vacation club time share, car payment, etc.

9.  Recognize the small things.  For instance last night I went to my boy's band concert and have always resigned myself to sitting uncomfortably in the chairs.  When I sat down last night I just slid right in.  I didn't have to shift around the whole night.  At the same time I noticed that my 4x shorts I was wearing don't fit at all anymore.

Measurements

Weight

Starting Weight: 358

Surgery Weight: 350

Today's Weight: 321

Total Lost: 37 lbs.

Inches
RT Arm Start: 18"
RT Arm Today: 15.25"

LT Arm Start: 18.5"

LT Arm Today: 15.25"

Chest Start: 55"
Chest Today: 50"
(I'm losing my moobs!!!!)

Waist Start: 66"
Waist Today: 60"

Total Inches Lost: 16.5

Challenges

Since I've had this surgery I've had to deal emotionally with some things that I never thought I would.  This surgery really is the banhammer for all negative habits regarding food.  At least for now.  I did great the week my wonderful wife was home with me and when she or someone else is with me.  I'm still losing weight like a New Orleans dike loses water.

What I'm observing is that I'm briefly flashing back to the times when I was by myself, either bored, sad, pissed, etc.  I would just go grab something to eat.  If I was sitting in front of the TV, I'd grab something to eat.  I relate TV and food very easily.

The great news is I haven't even attempted to cheat.  The tough news for me is I still think about food.  I don't necessarily crave it but I've found myself thinking and counting the days till I eat solid food.  I think that's natural.  Eating a small variety of food is boring and seems more like a chore.  But that's a good thing.  Things will get significantly tougher if I have to sit around by myself thinking about food.

Going back to work will help.  Losing a shit ton (lolz again) of weight will help.  But I am going to need other help.  My wife and I want to attend some support groups.  It's required for me.  Unfortunately there aren't any established groups for spouses.  I'm not looking forward to the support groups because of my experiences with AA.  If all I hear the whole time is a bunch of fat ass women boo-hooing because they can't eat Cherry Garcia anymore, I'm out.  I need support not a shoulder to cry on.

I also have a counselor lined up in case I find myself struggling.

The vitamins are hard.  I thought they would be a bit easier but they're like eating flavored chalk.  I just remind myself that it just takes a minute and I'm done for a few hours.  At last count I take 11 different vitamins / pills.

In writing this I found out that I've been breaking open my B complex capsule for no reason.  Thank the sweet lord.  That shit was disgusting!

I'm also struggling with protein intake. I have some stuff on the way that my dietitian recommended so I'm excited about that.

I found one last interesting thing that has been a side effect of this surgery.  Some stuff just doesn't smell good at all.  We have a Church's chicken by our house.  Prior to surgery I would drive by and it would smell like heaven.  I hate Church's actually but it always smelled like heaven.  Now I just smell boiling oil and sometimes it makes me gag.  It was like that at McDonald's today with Kelly.  She needed some lunch so I went in with her and sat at a table while she ordered.  She came to the table and my golden idol, the McDonald's French Fry smelled like ass to me.  It didn't look that good either.  The cheese burger looked decent but the smell was killing me.

I think she felt bad for eating in front of me but I just kept dorking on my phone which is like my 3rd hand anyway while she ate.  I felt rude but I didn't want to sit there and drool either.  Surprisingly though I did OK.

Measurements

So part of this process is to track my progress as motivation.  In my last post it was obvious that I'm making progress.

So here we go:

Weight

Starting Weight: 358

Surgery Weight: 350

Today's Weight: 331

Total Lost: 27 lbs.

Inches
RT Arm Start: 18"
RT Arm Today: 16"

LT Arm Start: 18.5"

LT Arm Today: 16.25"

Chest Start: 55"
Chest Today: 53"

Waist Start: 66"
Waist Today: 63.5"

Total Inches Lost: 8.75

Are you serious Clark?

So I got on the scale this morning because someone wanted to know how much I had lost since my surgery that was a week ago today.  My home scale has been within .25lbs of the scales at the surgeon's office so I trust it.

I was expecting a pound or 2 maybe 5 but I wasn't expecting 23!  Holy Shit batman!

So here's the breakdown.

- In May of this year I went to my first managed weight loss class I was 358lbs.

- When I checked into the hospital for surgery last Friday I was 352lbs.

- When I went to my follow up on Tuesday of this week I was 350lbs.

- When I stepped on the scale this morning I was 335lbs!

Now there are some factors that skew these numbers but even with the clothes I wore on each day maybe being 3-5lbs (I was nekid this morning) We're still looking at over 20lbs.

It's hard for me to believe that given I was 350 on Tuesday.  But I've been following the diet to a T, walking after every meal and staying positive.  I've been told by the dietitians and exorcise physiologist that walking only 10 minutes after every meal will improve my chances of weight loss by 15%.

I know and have been reminded that it won't always be this easy and my numbers could be way the eff off but the fact that there was such a change in the scale I'm rolling with it.  This is the motivation I needed and this is why this surgery works.

I couldn't even be negative after getting off the scale this morning.  I don't notice a lot of change in things except my clothes are fitting 'normal' now.  I can't wait until they're too big.  I'm going to hang a pair of pants and a shirt that are the largest I've ever worn somewhere to remind me.

I told my surgeon I wanted 2 things out of this surgery besides losing tons (lolz) of weight and being healthy:
- to see my junk again without aid of a mirror
- to be a size 36 waist again.

It's been a long time for both.

Damn it's good to be a gangsta...

Getting into the swing of things

I never thought that 2oz of food would seem too much to get down.  Seriously newborns eat more than that. It's fascinating to me.  I do get hungry but I get satisfied quickly.

Some quick observations:

1.  I'm not as sore and weak as I thought I'd be.  I feel like I could do everything I did prior to surgery.  My surgeon reminded me though the scars look small what happened inside is huge and will take time to heal.  I'm heading her advice.

2.  I've never appreciated broth, jello, vanilla yogurt or pudding nearly as much as I do now.  Food is now a necessity.  I feel myself striving to find something else to do when bored, frustrated, mad, sad, pissed.  I'm no where near the point where I can say I'm cured but the surgery gives me a good reason to just eat when I need to now.

3.  I miss chugging down a drink.  Whether it's water, sweet tea, a Diet Coke or any other tasty beverage, I loved to drink all I wanted when I wanted.  Drinking has become a chore.  I have to drink 64oz of liquid a day but that's hard when you can only drink 1-2oz every 15 minutes.

4.  Vitamins are nasty.  I've gotten used to most of them but they are like a meal in themselves.  The chewables aren't nearly as bad as I thought though so I'm getting them down when I'm supposed to.  It's interesting that I think I'll like food less when associating these vitamins to meal time.

5.  Pain medicine tastes worse than the pain is.  I rarely take any during the day now.  I still have more than half the bottle left they sent home with me.

I had my first follow up appointment yesterday and things look good.  I may be starting to ease off of my blood pressure pills.  That's more exciting than you can imagine.  I am now off of clear liquids and am onto full liquids.  This means a little more variety in what I can eat but still not much.  I'm loving the vanilla Greek yogurt though.  In 6 weeks I'll go back and they told me not to be surprised if I'm 40-50lbs lighter by then.  I about shit myself when they said that.  I was told before but now I can see it's a reality.

I've been walking 10-15 minutes after every meal.  It's amazing how much better I feel when I walk.  I'm looking forward to strength training too.  I'm going to join the YMCA so I can go on my lunch hour at work. No heavy lifting but free weights to start.

My stomach and arms look like I was in a fight.  I'm bruised, I still have adhesive from the surgical tape all over me but I feel pretty good.

TTFN

The other side

So I survived!  In fact my surgeon said I was her star patient and I got an A+.  I like getting A+'s.

How it went down:

I reported to the Community North surgery center on Friday morning at ~6AM.  I got checked in and they wisked me away to pre-op. Everyone kept saying I was easy...no allergies, no real fear, followed all the pre-op directions to a T.  At first I thought they meant I had loose morals...

I got in an amazing looking hospital gown and brown hospital socks.  I had to ask if I needed to remove my underwear.  I did.  Funny enough I didn't have my ass hanging out.  My junk hasn't been seen by so many people since I was born though.  You get over that very easily though.  The drugs help with any shyness you may have.

Shortly after getting prepped my gorgeous wife and my mother got to come back with me.  I had to pee several times due to the amount of fluids they were pumping into me.  Then came in an OR nurse in her cap and gown and I knew the shit was going down.

They sent my wife and mother out into the waiting area and wheeled me into the OR.  The irony is that when I got into the OR for bariatric surgery they had to put arms on the table because of my size.  I thought this was funny after the fact.  The anesthesiologist gave me something prior to the anesthesia and that's all she wrote folks.  I don't remember much after that.

I remember waking up in recovery briefly hearing a little child screaming.  I know I was moaning but they must have pumped me full of drugs again because I don't remember anything after that until my wife started talking to me telling me I had to get up and moving.

At first I was disoriented and in a lot of pain just in my back.  I think it was from laying down so long.  I finally got the idiot nurse (the only person that really rubbed me the wrong way) to get me some pain meds.  After that I was relaxed.  I got up and went to the bathroom in a jug with the help of my wife.  I walked a lap around the nurses station and went back to bed.

My boss came by shortly after that.  That made my day.  It means a lot to me that he is supportive of me.  I got a lot of other well wishes from folks at work and from folks at my wife's work also.  It's overwhelming how much support I have in this adventure.

I did more walking and saw some of the other bariatric patients walking too.  We supported each other as much as we could.   

Friday night went slow.  I got some decent sleep due to the drugs but they still have to check you vitals every 4 hours.

Saturday morning I got up and walked again and on returning to my room we were delivered breakfast.  1oz of lemon jello and 1oz of chicken broth.  Looking at that I thought to myself you've got to be shitting me.  The irony is that I couldn't finish more than half an ounce each.

Things went by pretty quick after that.  My surgeon came in and gave me orders to go home that day.  I was very excited.  She was proud of me and so was everyone else.

Now I'm settling into a routine of no more than 2 oz of jello or broth per meal along with at least one vitamin or supplement but usually more.  I cannot drink with meals which sucks.  Getting enough liquids in is amazingly difficult.  My wife is the liquid nazi now and I appreciate it.

Chicks Dig It...

So I had to buy one of these.  Well, I didn't have to, but it's going to make my life easier.  I know you're all jealous.

Liquid Diet FTW!

So today really gets me a taste of my future.  This is the day before my surgery but if you saw the counter to the right you already know that.

This is not all roses and rainbows folks.  I think in some earlier posts it may have seemed like I'm just having a good time getting ready for this surgery.

Well, that ain't the truth.  In the short time since I found out when my surgery date would be we've had a lot happen.  I've also had to get a lot of things done to prepare for tomorrow.

The biggest has been the god damned FMLA and Short Term Disability paper work.  Talk about a mass of confusion that you're handed by HR.  I hope I have it filled out right.  Something tells me I don't and it's going to be a fight.

Most other stuff is like getting ready to go on vacation.  I have to pack for the hospital.  I have to tie up some loose ends at work.

I'm excited and nervous.  I think I'd feel better if I hadn't forgotten to take my blood pressure meds in 2 days.  Oh well, hopefully soon enough I won't have to take them every again.

I started off the day with some cereal and a banana.  For lunch I'm having Jello and some cream of chicken soup.

Tonight I can have broth or popcicles but not much else and nothing after midnight.

The one thing I never expected was the outpouring of good wishes from my wife's co-workers.  It has been heart warming to say the least.  I appreciate everyone one of the notes I've gotten.

I'll see you on the other side...

T Minus 3 Days and Counting

You'll notice a nice little widget to the right of this post that shows the time left until my surgery.  I'm getting nervous / excited.  Thanks to my gorgeous wife and family I have my ducks in a row.  Now it's just a waiting game.

Rest assured that though the past week or so has been quiet I hope to post quite a bit after my surgery in regards to recovery and the real challenge, following the program.

I will be tweeting from @gitrdone564 with a hash tag of #thinnermhb also if you'd like to keep in touch.