Challenges

Since I've had this surgery I've had to deal emotionally with some things that I never thought I would.  This surgery really is the banhammer for all negative habits regarding food.  At least for now.  I did great the week my wonderful wife was home with me and when she or someone else is with me.  I'm still losing weight like a New Orleans dike loses water.

What I'm observing is that I'm briefly flashing back to the times when I was by myself, either bored, sad, pissed, etc.  I would just go grab something to eat.  If I was sitting in front of the TV, I'd grab something to eat.  I relate TV and food very easily.

The great news is I haven't even attempted to cheat.  The tough news for me is I still think about food.  I don't necessarily crave it but I've found myself thinking and counting the days till I eat solid food.  I think that's natural.  Eating a small variety of food is boring and seems more like a chore.  But that's a good thing.  Things will get significantly tougher if I have to sit around by myself thinking about food.

Going back to work will help.  Losing a shit ton (lolz again) of weight will help.  But I am going to need other help.  My wife and I want to attend some support groups.  It's required for me.  Unfortunately there aren't any established groups for spouses.  I'm not looking forward to the support groups because of my experiences with AA.  If all I hear the whole time is a bunch of fat ass women boo-hooing because they can't eat Cherry Garcia anymore, I'm out.  I need support not a shoulder to cry on.

I also have a counselor lined up in case I find myself struggling.

The vitamins are hard.  I thought they would be a bit easier but they're like eating flavored chalk.  I just remind myself that it just takes a minute and I'm done for a few hours.  At last count I take 11 different vitamins / pills.

In writing this I found out that I've been breaking open my B complex capsule for no reason.  Thank the sweet lord.  That shit was disgusting!

I'm also struggling with protein intake. I have some stuff on the way that my dietitian recommended so I'm excited about that.

I found one last interesting thing that has been a side effect of this surgery.  Some stuff just doesn't smell good at all.  We have a Church's chicken by our house.  Prior to surgery I would drive by and it would smell like heaven.  I hate Church's actually but it always smelled like heaven.  Now I just smell boiling oil and sometimes it makes me gag.  It was like that at McDonald's today with Kelly.  She needed some lunch so I went in with her and sat at a table while she ordered.  She came to the table and my golden idol, the McDonald's French Fry smelled like ass to me.  It didn't look that good either.  The cheese burger looked decent but the smell was killing me.

I think she felt bad for eating in front of me but I just kept dorking on my phone which is like my 3rd hand anyway while she ate.  I felt rude but I didn't want to sit there and drool either.  Surprisingly though I did OK.