F*** Yeah!

Good things come to those who wait...even when you're fat.

Last night my beautiful wife got home before me because I was at the local Spicecorps of Indianapolis meeting.  We have been paying close attention to the mail lately waiting for the letter from the insurance company on my surgery.  It has been agonizing frankly.

In the middle of the meeting I check my phone and she texted me that we got the letter from our insurance company.  I'm trying not to be excited because I'm the constant pessimist when it comes to things like this.  I'd blame this on being fat but it's my upbringing to blame.  Irish Catholics are notoriously pessimistic.  I digress...

Pretty soon my wife is all but begging to open the letter.  I told her to go ahead and this is what she sends back:

"Let's go out for steak cuz it's the last one you will eat for awhile!"

So the problem with texting is you never can tell exactly what someone means by a text.  So I respond with "lol".  A few seconds later she responds with "Approved!"  I think that was excitement and frustration for me being so nonchalant about it.  I really didn't know what she meant by the steak comment though!

I won't post what else we talked about...

Am I broken?

What really surprised me was how nonchalant I really was.  I was a bit pessimistic but I knew that CN would come through for me.  It hasn't quite sunk in that I'm going to have the biggest tool in my fight against fat in my arsenal hopefully by the end of the year.

Even to type that though gives me goosebumps.  I'm terrified of all the pre-op stuff for surgery but I've never been so ready for something in my life.

The big elephant in the room is the question on everyone's mind.

"Will this make you happy?"

and

"Will you stop beating yourself up?"

There is no clear answer to that honestly.

Here's what I do know from talking to the nurses, surgeons, dietitians, physical therapists and people who have gone through the surgery.  I'm going to immediately lose a ton (hahahahahahahaha) of weight.  That's going to be a huge ego boost for me to see results.  I'm going to start to get the energy back that I can honestly say I haven't had since I was a little kid.  I have the support of my family, especially my gorgeous wife.  I have the support of my friends.  I have the support of my coworkers who are going to have to take up my slack when I'm off.

In other words I have a lot at stake here and I refuse to waste it.  Am I going to be happier?  Absolutely.  Who in this world wouldn't be happy losing all that weight?  I'm sure that there are some weirdos out there that like being fat but not this guy.

My friends and family don't make me unhappy.  Being fat makes me unhappy.

Easy for me to say, I know.  I am married to the strongest woman I've ever known.  How she puts up my my old grumpy ass I'll never know but she has and I love her for it.  I'm surrounded by people who love me and its time for me to step up, sack up and get with the program.  It's time for me to stop bringing people down because I'm so unhappy with myself.

This is still just the beginning.  Part of me wants to run out and eat as much BBQ, steak, junk food and other goodies (mmmmm...Oreo and M&M blizzards....) as I can.  The rest of me says, "Grow up fatso.  This ain't a game."

TL;DR
- Insurance approved my surgery
- I'm happier than a bus full of fat women going to a Ricky Martin concert
- I'm going to have more energy and be happy with myself